Did the Thing I Never Thought I’d Do.

You can guess. The very thing I was extremely adamant about.

Yep. I had sex. Before marriage. It happened.

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SHUN ME IF YOU WILL.

This happened last year, so yeah, I lost my virginity when I was 23.

God snatched me up real quick and said “AY. You know this is NOT you. You’re not acting like yourself…,”.

I was really debating whether or not I would share this, primarily because not too long ago, I was up here blog posting all about how “Sex is for the Birds.” Saying I was waiting until I was married and everything. And yet, I fell weak to my flesh and didn’t wait any longer. I regret not waiting because, in retrospect, I gave my body to someone undeserving (I really thought they were at the time). It happened at a time that I wasn’t really respecting myself. I was going down a dark hole, turning my back on God and doing things that were very much so out of my character. But lissen:

God snatched me up real quick and said “AY. You know this is NOT you. You’re not acting like yourself…,”.

Okay, maybe He didn’t say it quite like that, but God got my attention. With a quickness.

Once He got my attention, it may or may not have taken a few more months after that for me to actually get a hold of myself, break free of the sinful actions I was participating in, and tell the devil to get thee behind for good. I took the time I needed to take, because listen, once I got tired, I got tired.

Let me say this though: sex is not a bad thing. God just wants us to engage in this activity with someone who we’re married to that really loves us and cares about us in every way they humanly can. Though things don’t always go this way, this is the way that He intended, and for good reason.

One reason is so we don’t regret giving our bodies, our temples, the place that God Himself lives within, to people who are undeserving.

  • To people who don’t understand how special you are.
  • To people who just want to use you as a means to their end of pleasuring themselves.
  • To people who could careless about your well-being.

I could go on all night, honey. Don’t get me started (at the same time, please do).

One of the other reasons I was so hesitant to share this was because I know I have a lot of people looking up to me. Who’ve made me their role model. I felt as though I’d disappointed all of them. I couldn’t even forgive myself (I can’t ask God to forgive me, if I can’t even forgive myself).

The good news is, I’ve forgiven myself, and that’s why I’m sharing this today. I hope the people I just mentioned can forgive me too, and please understand. I’m human, and you are too. We fall weak to things, but that’s okay. As long as we recognize this, and make an honest effort to not continue to fall weak, then it’s going to be okay at the end of the day.

As a result of my previous experience and the dark hole I almost got sucked into, never to be heard from again, I vowed to myself I wouldn’t give my body to another man unless he proved to me that he was deserving of me. And not just me either: you get my family along with me. We are a special breed that’s been through a lot. We won’t just let anyone waltz into our lives and let them try to wreak havoc where they may. Those days are over!

As a wise person once said:

If you want to be in my life, you have to respect my life. To respect my life, you have to know the rules of my life.


I hope you’ve all been well! Thanks for continuing to hang with me ❤

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